I really do not understand the idea of small talk. It is not true conversation. It is just a silence filler, and is often uncomfortable.
When you see someone in the hallway you often say "How are you?", but do you really care? No, do you -truly- care? Probably not. You expect that person to give a quick "Good, you?" and nothing more. Even if they are having the worst day of their life, this is often what they will say too. This is because they know you do not care, and people have become so accustomed to saying this general sentence.
What bugs me the most is, when people ask me how I am in the hallway, and don't even stop walking! Like, hello, I'm not going to talk to you as you're walking away. If you want to talk to me then come talk to me. Most of the time I do not have to time to respond, or when I do respond they are already halfway down the hallway. I am often left standing alone in the hallway answering someone that is no longer there.
I think from now on I will just look down when I'm walking down the halls, that way nobody makes the mistake of trying to talk to me. I'm not anti-social! Really I am very social, but society does not want us to actually be friendly. It is just a social norm to start small talk when you really do not care.
This is not the only form of small talk though. Can I ask you something? How many times do you find yourself talking about the weather without even realizing it? The weather really is not that interesting, yet we talk about it so often. This is because we know it is something that everyone has in common. So when there is suddenly some silence we spit out the sentence, "So... it's pretty cold out, eh?". Obviously it is cold. We do not need to mention this, we all know this. It is just another thing to fill the empty void of silence.
We have something against silence in this society. I do not understand the expectation of maintaining noise. We find it less rude to talk instead of ignore each other. I don't see why; wouldn't ignoring each other be more honest? Therefore, it would be less rude. This is not how we see things in this society.
I give you this challenge. Next time you are in an awkward situation, stop yourself from creating small talk. Stay silent. It is only awkward if you make it awkward.
Pictures:
roshrulez.wordpress.com
twentytwowords.com
I can kind of agree with you, but I feel that silence is even more awkward. I'd rather have someone to talk to than sit there waiting in silence and twiddling my thumbs. I think that small talk can just be a form of being polite. Like please and thank you.
ReplyDeleteIt's also a way to start a conversation with someone you don't really know. If you have nothing in common, general things like weather is probably where they'll start and who knows where that conversation will end up.
I know most people don't mean it, but some people, including myself, really do care if you're doing good or not.
I agree with Paulina, I think it's a way of being polite/getting to know someone! I hate making small talk, I'm so bad at it haha but I still do it cause I think it's nice when people try to make small talk, it shows they care enough to to that. And I definately think that we shouldn't underestimate silence, but it is not always the right time for silence.
ReplyDeleteWhen you are silent around other people you feel disconnected with them and therefore that is why it is awkward. While your politeness argument does make sense I feel it incredibly inpolite to not partake in small talk. It is not nessicarily caring about the persons response it is somewhat excepting that you awknowledge their prescence if that at all makes sense.
ReplyDelete